The 36 Questions: Part 2! -15/2/2026

Welcome back blog enjoyers! Hope you’ve all been well. I’ve been putting this one off for a bit so I’m happy to be getting around to this. If you haven’t already checked out the first 18 questions, be sure to check it out HERE.

Without further ado. Lets continue

19. Q: If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

    A: I would drop out of university immediately, as there is no point in doing it if there is no long term goal. I would book a trip somewhere foreign and overseas. Preferably somewhere like an Asian country. Somewhere that is completely different to the way I live my life now.

    That said, it might be a better idea to know that I’m going to be supported by my current life, so maybe I would spend time with the people already in my life, and see everything that already exists all the way to its natural end.

    But I would also do things I’ve been scared to do all my life. I would go skydiving. I would talk to people at clubs, and try to learn to love new people.

    I’m almost scared that trying to love new things would make me more afraid to die, then to just believe that everything I already have is it, and be comfortable thinking I’ve done enough with my life.

20. Q: What does friendship mean to you? A: I feel like there is a lot of pretentious answers to this and none of them are the right one or the not cringe one. But friendship to me means understanding. It means to look at someone else and listen to them, and to empathise with the things they say and understand their highs and lows. Friendship is also about being there to support people. To be there for them when they need you, and to laugh with them when they’re having fun. Without friends we cannot really seek to gather diverse opinions or perspectives, which are so important to changing and growing as a person.

    TLDR: Friendship is about having fun with other people and helping them to grow :)

    

21. Q: What roles do love and affection play in your life?

    A: BRUH these questions are trying to expose me here. The quick answer is too much. I have been in relationships for the majority of the last 5 years of my life and they have meant so much to me. My first relationship helped me to grow so much, and taught me how to empathise with other people and how to get on with women (which I had previously had a lot of trauma around) but that relationship also crushed me, as it forced me into giving up a lot of things that I was too young to give up on. I genuinely thought I was asexual for a while because I was so sexually repressed from accepting my partners libido. This also killed me in the end when we grew apart from each other which I had never expected to happen.

    I think that media has taught us all our lives that love is everything and that it matters more than anything else, and to some extent I agree, but I have found that not being in a relationship has been the hardest thing. When you do not fit this ideal and you have nothing else really going for you, it makes you feel that you are not good enough. As much as I know I can love someone else to death, I do not love myself enough, and being single is forcing me to finally confront that (with some help from my psychologist :) ). I would like to be in a relationship and have love again, but after the hurt I caused from my last relationship from not being able to love myself, I’m saving myself some time for that.

    I could also just be so scarred that I’m going to become avoidant now but lets hope that doesn’t happen.

22. Q: Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
    A: Hey well since it’s with myself I get to do 10.
    1. They don’t take life too seriously. They understand social rules, but are able to work within them and still have fun, which should always be the goal
    2. They’re aim in life is to be remembered as kind. There is nothing material about this, only the wish to have made someone’s life better in some small way (or atleast not make anyone’s life worse)
    3. They have a facecare routine, which shows that they look after themselves and are not too toxically masculine to discourage genderless practices
    4. They always try to make people laugh. That’s a person that you want to have around
    5. When things are awkward, they try to point it out to make things less awkward. They struggle with social rules so flipping them on their head makes for refreshing conversation
    6. They have hobbies. This shows that they care about things and have other things going on in their life
    7. They have an open mind. They are willing to listen to anything if you are sure of yourself, because they believe there is no absolute truths
    8. They have good taste in fashion and love expressing themselves. They are so uniquely Joss
    9. They go up to some strangers who look concerned or sad, even if it’s a little daunting because they think they might be able to help somehow
    10. They try to stay off social media because they are conscious of their time and mental health, and they want to be the best version of themself

    

23. Q: How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

    A: Hahaha not very lol. I don’t mean this in an insulting way to my family, I love my family and I am so grateful to them. I just find that my relationship with my family compared to other people I know. A lot of friends I talk to call their parents a couple of times a week, whereas I would say I call my parents maybe a couple of times a month.

    It should also be prefaced that my parents are divorced so I think that this relationship is a natural product of split housing. I got very used to not seeing one parent for a month at a time, so I have never felt particularly close to either of them. I still share my life with them, but I do not feel a close attachment to them. Rather I feel the unconditional love of family, that they will always be there for me, even if I left for a long time, they would be there for me.

    I have the same thing with my brothers. I have two brothers: Max (27) and Zac (25), and with me at the ripe age of 20, I’m sure you can imagine the difficulty in these relationships. Max moved out of home just as I entered high school and Zac followed soon after, so I spent the majority of my teenage life living as an only child. These relationships were never really close because the others were so much closer and because I was so much younger than them.

    However as I hit 17, I started doing things in Sydney and got the chance to stay with Max and I started to build a closer connection with him. I still wouldn’t say I’m super close with him or truly understand him, but I love him and appreciate him. Zac was in a relationship from the age of 17-24 and was very much preoccupied with that until they broke up. He went and stayed with my parents for a bit, until at the end of 2025 we found an apartment with him in the inner west of Sydney.

    We have now lived together for about 3 months and he is probably most reliable friend and I am quite close with him. We both vent to each other about our problems and I go to him for advice when I’m struggling. I love him very much and I’m very appreciative of him as such an amazing brother.

24. Q: How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

    A: Fine lol. I love my mother. At times she can be a little frustrating to talk to as she generally has a lot to say about herself but so do I so maybe it’s a competition XD. I am very grateful for her and her support. She has offered me many safety nets incase I fall while going through university and it has been very reassuring to have them. I am also very grateful to her for the way I was raised, as I know her mothering played a large part in the person I am today.

25. Q: Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling..."
    A: For this I think I shall answer from the part of me that judges me and the part of me that loves myself
    1. We both want the best for joss, and want him to succeed
    2. We both think that we have the answers a lot of the time, even if our answers conflict or are only short term
    3. We both use music as a way to connect more deeply with the feelings we are feeling

    

26. Q: Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

    A: I think I might’ve known the answer to this sometime ago, but now I’m not sure. I want to be able to share everything with someone, not just feel comfortable around them. I don’t want to be judged if I show them something funny and they find it offensive. I want to feel safe to communicate whatever I’m feeling with my partner, even if it’s that I’m evil or stupid or nothing at all.

    I wish I had someone I could share movie nights on the couch with. I wish I had someone I could share my love of benee with. I wish I had someone I could play board games with. I wish I had someone who I didn’t expect to let me down in the future. I wish I had someone that I could really give my love to because I want to love them, and they want to do the same for me. I want to really love.

    This is not targeted or specific to say these are failures of my past relationships, as I have had different combinations of these things in the past. But above all, I want to feel comfortable in loving someone.

27. Q: If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

    A: I now have a terrible record of not giving enough to my partners. I love them and care for them, but as time goes on, I get more comfortable in the relationship and feel that I have to do less for their approval, so I start to give less and less until I no longer have their approval. I know this is awful and I’m trying to work out how to better myself to stop doing this, but please know that I know this is a problem of mine.

28. Q: Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

    A: I mean quite hard to answer this one when I’ve known myself (sort of) for 20 years. But trying to be very honest with myself. I like that with people I’ve just met, I am very welcoming and I try to include others, because I know that’s something I wish people to do for me. I also appreciate that I have a strong moral awareness. Not that I am necessarily always going to react to immoral actions, but I am aware that I should treat others how I want to be treated, and that always guides my actions.

    

29. Q: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life. A: I have so many of these, but I’d have to say one of the more embarrassing moments for me occurred when I was performing in a university production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It was a week long production, so about 8 shows and we hadn’t organised a mid week costume wash. We decided that spraying alcohol was enough.

    After the 6th show, one of my friends was asking an audience member if they enjoyed the show, to which they said: “That was amazing, but one thing. We could smell Leaf Coneybear”

    I was leaf coney bear :|

    IMG: Leaf coneybear

30. Q: When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

    A: Hahaha I wish I was joking, just before doing this I was journalling and crying to myself. I also cried multiple times this week at work while in the coolroom (I work at a service station) and have had a good few other cries to myself lately. I’ve really come to appreciate crying as for a long time I was unable to cry as I was still recovering from being a boy.

    As for someone else, I had a conversation with my ex to get some closure and so she would stop harassing me, and that led to me having a few quiet tears to myself. I don’t think I actually cried though.

    I think I did cry infront of my brother when I broke up with my ex though. That’s all I can think of tbh.

31. Q: Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

    A: What is this, complement city? I feel like I’ve done this a billion times now. I’m going to try and think of an original answer. I really like that I have such a passion for theatre. It’s so nice to see someone really care about something and truly love it. I also love that I don’t feel pressured to be like other people and listen to really mainstream music or have really mainstream fashion. I love that I am so expressive.

    

32. Q: What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

    A: Tough one. The first thing that comes to mind for me is rape and sexual assault. I feel these have hurt so many people in my life and I really can’t find anything particularly funny about them. If anything joking about them minimises the seriousness of it, which is awful because it increases the chance of it actually happening.

    That said, I wouldn’t necessarily say that I can actually find much funny about 9/11, WW2, racism etc. Perhaps it’s because the harm these have caused is so distant to me that it feels acceptable to joke about them. I still don’t think these are funny, especially when they are used just to be edgy, but a well crafted joke can be funny. I find this funny as well because I feel very comfortable making suicide jokes, despite the fact I have now had numerous people tell me they genuinely want to kill themselves. Perhaps it’s because none of them actually have that I can still find it funny.

    Honestly sometimes I even go to far. When I first started dating my ex, her brothers cat died from wandering off, and I couldn’t help myself but make jokes about it. To be fair, I think that’s because we both dealt with our feelings by making jokes, but I definitely feel that this went too far on my part. To this day, I still don’t know why I was doing it. I think maybe I thought the joke was worth the disrespect it caused. Either way I’m very apologetic about that.

    But going further, even in this last year we’ve seen serious issues such as the assassination of Charlie kirk (kinda insane timeline, but also incredibly ironic) become the laughing stock of the left, and even now we joke about ICE raids and how they are taking people off the streets. To be fair though, ICE are the butts of the jokes there so it feels more like a humorous form of protest.

    What a strange timeline. But yeah, rape jokes are never funny.

33. Q: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

    A: This is a tough one because I really don’t want to open healed wounds. I think everyone I felt like I had to tell something to, I have already told them. There are some people who I would like to remind of some things, but I feel that my reentry into their lives would hurt them more than comfort them, and I would rather they found out I passed away and let them have what I already told them.

    

34. Q: Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

    A: Hahaha that’s a really tough one. I want to say my tablet because it has my journal on it, but I know that’s connected to the cloud so I don’t really mind. I have a bunch of expensive things that I would like to not lose, but I know they are all replaceable. I would probably say my first onewheel. I’ve had that board for 5 years and it still rides like a dream. I loved it and I’ve done over 10000kms on it. I could afford to lose it, and I already have a newer board that I use, but I always come back to my baby.

    My only other answer is that I have a special box of memories that I keep locked away, with important letters and birthdays card’s I’ve received. Those are irreplacable, but I also keep it locked away because a lot of the things in there are thing’s I’m trying to forget about, and probably need to be burned for me to move on. I struggle to let go of the past.

    I think that is my final answer. The special box.

35. Q: Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

    A: I think this is a tricky question because all my family members seem so consistent that I can’t even comprehend the thought of them dying. I think if zac died, I would be the most distraught, because I am probably closest with him out of my family, given I live with him. If he died, I would be so tragically alone living by myself in the inner west with no one really to look up to.

    But if any other family member died it would be so tragic because they all play a core role in my life. If max died, our way would be lost. His strangeness binds us together and his strong will is inspiring. If mum died, we would lose the emotional support of the family, and we wouldn’t know who to turn to when we’re struggling. If dad died, we would lose the strong arm of the family. He seemingly knows how to do anything and everything, and when you ask him to do things he can just magically make them happen. Without him, I wouldn’t know who to turn to when I need to figure out how to transport a fridge or fix a car.

36. Q: Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

    A: My first answer has come up a million times now so I’m going to think of another one. I’m going to propose this problem as a friends problem to see if I can help “my friend”

    So my buddy Eric is halfway through his Engineering degree and he feels he’s starting not to care anymore. He keeps talking about dropping out and going to study music production and theatre. However he doesn’t think that he’s actually going to because he’s being paid a scholarship to continue doing his degree. What should he do? Stick it out or pull the trigger?

    Well to that I say that Eric is probably a smart cookie. If there is anything that I am learning in this life, it is that that there are no “right choices”. There’s a million ways to skin a cat, and a million ways to get a desired outcome. What matters is making good choices and smart choices. A degree is so handy in the professional world (or at least my graduate brothers tell me so) and even if you never decide to become an engineer, having a degree will make a world of difference for your job prospects. Especially if they’re PAYING you.

    That said, if you want to do theatre you still can. There will still be time. I know people that have only gotten into theatre later in life and they seem quite happy.. If you really can’t stick it out then drop out, but don’t give up on yourself. I think there will be so many important connections and opportunities that you will get through uni, so you might as well stick around. You know you are good enough so don’t give up on yourself.

    But at the end of the day it’s never too late to be the best version of yourself, or at the very least to try and be the person that you want to be, so whatever you think will lead you to becoming the best version of yourself, Go for that!

END OF ACT 2



And with that we have reached the end of the 36 questions! Give yourself a pat on the back if you read this far and remove that pat if you used Chat GPT to summarise this (I know some of you do). Always remember that every word counts and every thought is intentional and tells you something about my character. If you choose to summarise then you will lose the main part of being here. To learn more about me. THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE

Now I know this second part was a lot more personal and more akin to mental masturbation than a blog or entertainment piece. So if you did read this far, be sure to drop a note in the guestbook. And also if you just stopped in for the pretty pictures? Valid me too.

Hoping to post here again soon, but Uni starts again soon so no guarantees. A quick update from me though if your curious, I’m about to start work on a university research project, and am getting ready to audition for some shows to keep working on developing my theatre skills and to have more fun! I’m going to also keep working with my psychologist to see if it truly is possible to get to a point of loving yourself. Sometimes I think I overshare here, and then I remember that you that are reading this right now are probably the only other eyes that will ever read far enough to see this, so if you made it here, it’s our secret :). Also here’s a secret link to a website I found that I think is funny.

That’s all for now, Love yall <3